Recently, Wes Craven’s horror classic “The Last House on the Left” (1972) received a makeover by Rogue Pictures. I have not seen the remake yet but what I’m hearing sounds very promising. First of all, while critical reaction may not be on par with drama classics, they are very excellent while we operate in the realm of horror films.
Horror films have never been the critic’s favorite. A true good horror film that comes along and is an instant cult favorite is hard to come by. Yet when they do, it is known that what we are watching is a horror classic. They may not be filled with Sean Penns or Russell Crowes. However, they seize the fear, terror, and hair-raising aspects of life and thrust them onto the screen showing us what we despise in life the most. Still, our imagination is captivated as we continue to shell out money to feel sick to the stomach for a couple hours.
Wes Craven, the grandson of horror, released “The Last House on the Left” (1972). Its gritty, exploitive nature drew criticism from every angle. Fans, on the other had, will always place the film at the top of their favorite lists. Besides a loyal fan base, the film has influenced countless horror films immediately following its release through modern horror.
Back track a few years to 1968….George A. Romero released “Night of the Living Dead” the quintessential zombie flick. The film would spawn many follow ups such as “Dawn of the Dead” and most recently “Diary of the Dead”. The film most likely was the next greatest horror film after Alfred Hitchcock’s “Psycho”.
1974’s “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” gave us the frightening character of Leatherface. The film experimented with using daylight with its terror plot line to great effect. Perhaps, it is most famous for the end sequence where Leatherface twirls his chainsaw in anguish as the sun sets in the background.
Cult classic, “The Evil Dead”, released in 1981 on a small budget of $375,000 as resonated throughout horror history. It spawned two sequels, “The Evil Dead II” and “Army of Darkness”. The film was banned in several country’s due to its outrageous gore (believe me, it is indeed). In the United Kingdom, the film was placed on the “video nasty” list; in effect prevent any and all marketing of the movie.
“The Exorcist”, the greatest demonic possession film, was released in 1973 to divided critical reception. It was placed on the infamous “video nasty” list. Yet, it is funny to note that British film critic, Mark Kermode, claimed it was the greatest film of all time…maybe the greatest horror film, Mark.
John Carpenter has released two essential horror classics, the one that nearly anyone reading this knows, “Halloween” (1978) and “The Thing” (1982). “Halloween” is the most successful slasher flick since “Psycho”. “The Thing” is a terrifying flick about a shape-shifting alien which goes on a killing spree in the Antarctic…freaky.
“Poltergeist”, released the same year as “The Thing”, revolves around the haunting of a Californian suburban home. The film was made by Tobe Hooper who was responsible for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
“Rosemary’s Baby” starring Mia Farrow was released in 1968. A petrifying tale of witchcraft/cults, the Ira Levin novel turned film as been received across the board as a great film and a truly good horror film.
Wes Craven once again creates a horror classic. The 1984 film, with Johnny Depp and Amanda Wyss, follows the burned Freddy Krueger who kills sleeping teens in their dreams with his sharp razor fingers. The subject of much debated social contexts, the film is an example of an intelligibly made gore-fest.
“The Omen” (1976) follows the story of two wealthy American couples that receive the baby anti-Christ, Damien, by unfortunate circumstance. Known for the disturbing, “Hanging Scene”, the film has become synonymous with terror (especially once the details of the supposed set-haunting emerged).
1980’s “The Shining” based on Stephen King’s horror novel has become a rather quotable horror novelty. “Here’s Johnny” Jack Nicholson screams as he attempts to break down a door in order to satisfy his blood lust (by killing his family). Directed by Stanley Kubrick (2001: A Space Odyssey, A Clockwork Orange) the movie gets a brief cameo in the 1997 film “Twister”. You know a horror film has made it big time when it is shown in another movie.
Modern horror seems to concentrate on the splattering of blood rather than the psychological terror. Thus, films such as “Hostel”, “Saw” and “The Hills Have Eyes” have gained popularity. Eli Roth (Cabin Fever, Hostel 1 & 2) has recently become a name on the cult circuit. With the release of 2006’s “Hostel”, Eli polarized critics yet somehow managed to capture the admiration of horror fans.
At first glance, “Hostel” may seem like a pornography injected with some blood (that sounded terrible). Yet, it is a film with character development unlike many horror films. You get to know the characters (even if they are a bit horny) and you form an odd attachment with them. Even a divided critic circle typically means you have a decent horror film. Either way, “Hostel” and its follow up have become a source of criticism, controversy and a satiable film for hungry horror fans.
“Saw” (2004) detailed the tale of Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) a psychotic terminally ill inventor. Although the acting by Cary Elwes and the films co-creator was far from good, the plot was refreshing. Indeed, it can be argued the “Saw” was responsible for the rebirth of horror in mainstream cinema.
Rob Zombie has quickly gained notoriety as a master of horror. “House of 1000 Corpses” was an odd acid trip yet its follow up “The Devil’s Rejects” is a wonderful homage to classic exploitive horror films from the 1970s. Bill Mosely plays Otis, and it is perhaps his performance as a sadistic serial killer the holds the film together so well.
There you have it, a quick overview of some of the great horror films throughout the ages (by no means all of them!)
RECAP: Night of the Living Dead, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, Psycho, Poltergeist, Rosemary’s Baby, The Nightmare on Elm Street, The Thing, The Omen, Hostel, Saw, The Evil Dead, The Shining , The Devil’s Rejects, Cannibal Holocaust, The Last House on the Left, The Hills Have Eyes (remake) and The Exorcist.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
I Love Big Brother TOO!!!
Night of the Living Dead (1968) - 4/4 - George A. Romero's classic zombie flick. Tastes like chicken.
Finally finished 1984. I've been reading it for over two weeks. I just've been so stressed about the MTH 135 final. When I'm anxious it seems I can't do anything extracurricular.
notice there've been a lack of poems. so here's one.
Gabriel & Mephistopheles
Near the fringe of a dying wood
Gabriel sat perched upon a stump of yew
Weeping with a broken heart long overdue
His affection turning to hurt as any scorn would
With flickering thoughts of how he could depart for good
It seemed the daughter of the monarch was cold
To which destitute Gabriel was rather blind
Her seldom appearance made the fair maiden seem readily kind
Earnestly wondering why his penniless self had been so bold
The boy ventured further into the tormented forest of old
Gabriel had heard the tales the frightened had spun
As he continued down the shadowy path
Though of what proof of these troubles did the storytellers hath?
These insane beggars the village did shun
He deplored to reason he would turn not as one
Still, a growing dread gripped his being
Warily, he did glance about
His smile twisted into the shape of doubt
For nothing terrible was he surely seeing
Therefore, there were no notions of fleeing
Returning to his marred concerns of his lost ardor
Gabriel reluctantly fancied further dreams of her
Withdrawing his gait to rest against an aging fir
Determined to squander these wishes for ever more
This still gnawed him bitter to the core
A stalking otherworldly drowse did creep
Manifesting abdicable premonitions of the hereafter
Which died away with a most haunting laughter
Gabriel raised his eyes to procure a peep
To which his heart gave a bounding leap
Upon the dirt a man did lay
With a piercing stare that was grim
The lights of his brown eyes seemed rather dim
‘Twas then that Gabriel noticed the signs of decay
For this man had been dead for at least a day
By leaps and bounds a foot was pressed
The body remained thankfully still
However, Gabriel turned rather ill
In view of the being upon his chest
Inside his head, now, fear did nest
“I am Mephistopheles from the land of the dead.”
The creature cried towards the mortal before him
An urge to run was Gabriel’s first whim
“I know the thoughts within your head”
The boy found his feet were made of lead
“I can conjure joy if that is your desire”
The demon expressed with a red book in claw
“I can assure with vengeance, you will have no flaw”
Gabriel wondered if here was a liar
With hopes that may return to his dear Wiltshire
“How do I know you speak the truth?”
Demanded Gabriel reasonably for he thought he knew
What this trickster from Hell would infallibly do
“I vow I only know the sooth”
Spoke the devil uncouth
Gabriel gleaned he was erroneous to mistrust
As he gained a vision of his love in her tower
Trembling by some unusual sentiment of power
This may have been his growing lust
“I’ll sign the book.” For he knew he must
The demon procured a magical quill
Which no bottle of ink was needed to use
His mark was left by the worth he would lose
While it drained to the page he felt a sinister thrill
At the rumination of the blood he would spill
“Your humble servant, young Gabriel…your fancy shall I allow?”
A wish of everlasting love between the maiden you see
‘Twas not the command that he did decree
“Death upon her kingdom, I will have you endow.”
The request was sanctioned with the touch of a brow
“The demise will pass by the sound of the wren.”
Mephistopheles grimly smirked
These tidings held Gabriel slightly irked
For his patience was wearing thin
However, he broke into an unpleasant grin
“Good day, boy. I’ll see you in Hell.”
The fiend vanished with a rap on his book
Thus, Gabriel walked to a nearby brook
He followed it out of the woods to a peasant’s well
Then cut his way to where the noble did dwell
Gabriel arrived at the top of a hill
Where below he discerned the outlines of the palace
Where the harlot softly sipped from the chalice
He continued on his menacing path past a silent abandoned mill
Where he heard a song that quickly grew shrill
Upon a branch there sat a black wren in verse
Astonishingly, not in a soft melodic peep
Yet, with words to make a mortal weep
The lyrics it expelled were quite perverse
In telling the events of a curse
“Six days your world will burn
Two serpents will reign from Hell
Of evil or good man, the dragons cannot tell
This fate the entire kingdom will learn
Six days your world will burn”
The wren took flight into the air
Gabriel knew by heart what was in store
That the ophidians had escaped through Hell’s door
To fill the people with unblemished despair
A cruel punishment that was justly fair
The sky above progressed to black
‘Til Gabriel was sure the sun had at last died
In response he knew the wren had not lied
As fire erupted throughout the attack
It seemed there would be no turning back
Gabriel slept at the end of the day
In the bottom of Hell where his blood ran cold
For it had been his soul he had sold
When he awoke to the inferno in the fray
It was a world living in dismay
The imperishable twilight still did remain
Gabriel drew closer to the walls of the fire
Where the kingdom churned as one last pyre
Inside there were screams from those who had not been slain
In the scourge Gabriel did ordain
So he stood at the close of the second night
Afraid to slip into a tormented slumber
Upon the scorched walls he observed a number
Three identical digits that oversaw human plight
He directly closed his eyes at the ominous sight
The torture ensued within his head
A vivid vision which placed him inside
The walls in which the living hide
The serpents would kill with one look of dread
The moribund falling on a stone cold bed
By some grace he saw light on day three
The sun had returned shining with its bright beam
Casting a glow on the demolished scene
From this apocalypse the kingdom was not yet free
Gabriel knew by what he did not see
Within the walls the survivors filled the streets like a flume
The crisis had vanished this was clear
No more perilous cries did the people hear
Through concern Gabriel walked into the city of gloom
In a swift motion the charred kingdom feel before doom
The domain had collapsed into the pit of Hell
Where a fire was stoked within the fallen land’s bust
For three more nights it burned to dust
Mephistopheles found Gabriel to tell
“Good to see you finally in Hell.”
© Brett Holden
Finally finished 1984. I've been reading it for over two weeks. I just've been so stressed about the MTH 135 final. When I'm anxious it seems I can't do anything extracurricular.
notice there've been a lack of poems. so here's one.
Gabriel & Mephistopheles
Near the fringe of a dying wood
Gabriel sat perched upon a stump of yew
Weeping with a broken heart long overdue
His affection turning to hurt as any scorn would
With flickering thoughts of how he could depart for good
It seemed the daughter of the monarch was cold
To which destitute Gabriel was rather blind
Her seldom appearance made the fair maiden seem readily kind
Earnestly wondering why his penniless self had been so bold
The boy ventured further into the tormented forest of old
Gabriel had heard the tales the frightened had spun
As he continued down the shadowy path
Though of what proof of these troubles did the storytellers hath?
These insane beggars the village did shun
He deplored to reason he would turn not as one
Still, a growing dread gripped his being
Warily, he did glance about
His smile twisted into the shape of doubt
For nothing terrible was he surely seeing
Therefore, there were no notions of fleeing
Returning to his marred concerns of his lost ardor
Gabriel reluctantly fancied further dreams of her
Withdrawing his gait to rest against an aging fir
Determined to squander these wishes for ever more
This still gnawed him bitter to the core
A stalking otherworldly drowse did creep
Manifesting abdicable premonitions of the hereafter
Which died away with a most haunting laughter
Gabriel raised his eyes to procure a peep
To which his heart gave a bounding leap
Upon the dirt a man did lay
With a piercing stare that was grim
The lights of his brown eyes seemed rather dim
‘Twas then that Gabriel noticed the signs of decay
For this man had been dead for at least a day
By leaps and bounds a foot was pressed
The body remained thankfully still
However, Gabriel turned rather ill
In view of the being upon his chest
Inside his head, now, fear did nest
“I am Mephistopheles from the land of the dead.”
The creature cried towards the mortal before him
An urge to run was Gabriel’s first whim
“I know the thoughts within your head”
The boy found his feet were made of lead
“I can conjure joy if that is your desire”
The demon expressed with a red book in claw
“I can assure with vengeance, you will have no flaw”
Gabriel wondered if here was a liar
With hopes that may return to his dear Wiltshire
“How do I know you speak the truth?”
Demanded Gabriel reasonably for he thought he knew
What this trickster from Hell would infallibly do
“I vow I only know the sooth”
Spoke the devil uncouth
Gabriel gleaned he was erroneous to mistrust
As he gained a vision of his love in her tower
Trembling by some unusual sentiment of power
This may have been his growing lust
“I’ll sign the book.” For he knew he must
The demon procured a magical quill
Which no bottle of ink was needed to use
His mark was left by the worth he would lose
While it drained to the page he felt a sinister thrill
At the rumination of the blood he would spill
“Your humble servant, young Gabriel…your fancy shall I allow?”
A wish of everlasting love between the maiden you see
‘Twas not the command that he did decree
“Death upon her kingdom, I will have you endow.”
The request was sanctioned with the touch of a brow
“The demise will pass by the sound of the wren.”
Mephistopheles grimly smirked
These tidings held Gabriel slightly irked
For his patience was wearing thin
However, he broke into an unpleasant grin
“Good day, boy. I’ll see you in Hell.”
The fiend vanished with a rap on his book
Thus, Gabriel walked to a nearby brook
He followed it out of the woods to a peasant’s well
Then cut his way to where the noble did dwell
Gabriel arrived at the top of a hill
Where below he discerned the outlines of the palace
Where the harlot softly sipped from the chalice
He continued on his menacing path past a silent abandoned mill
Where he heard a song that quickly grew shrill
Upon a branch there sat a black wren in verse
Astonishingly, not in a soft melodic peep
Yet, with words to make a mortal weep
The lyrics it expelled were quite perverse
In telling the events of a curse
“Six days your world will burn
Two serpents will reign from Hell
Of evil or good man, the dragons cannot tell
This fate the entire kingdom will learn
Six days your world will burn”
The wren took flight into the air
Gabriel knew by heart what was in store
That the ophidians had escaped through Hell’s door
To fill the people with unblemished despair
A cruel punishment that was justly fair
The sky above progressed to black
‘Til Gabriel was sure the sun had at last died
In response he knew the wren had not lied
As fire erupted throughout the attack
It seemed there would be no turning back
Gabriel slept at the end of the day
In the bottom of Hell where his blood ran cold
For it had been his soul he had sold
When he awoke to the inferno in the fray
It was a world living in dismay
The imperishable twilight still did remain
Gabriel drew closer to the walls of the fire
Where the kingdom churned as one last pyre
Inside there were screams from those who had not been slain
In the scourge Gabriel did ordain
So he stood at the close of the second night
Afraid to slip into a tormented slumber
Upon the scorched walls he observed a number
Three identical digits that oversaw human plight
He directly closed his eyes at the ominous sight
The torture ensued within his head
A vivid vision which placed him inside
The walls in which the living hide
The serpents would kill with one look of dread
The moribund falling on a stone cold bed
By some grace he saw light on day three
The sun had returned shining with its bright beam
Casting a glow on the demolished scene
From this apocalypse the kingdom was not yet free
Gabriel knew by what he did not see
Within the walls the survivors filled the streets like a flume
The crisis had vanished this was clear
No more perilous cries did the people hear
Through concern Gabriel walked into the city of gloom
In a swift motion the charred kingdom feel before doom
The domain had collapsed into the pit of Hell
Where a fire was stoked within the fallen land’s bust
For three more nights it burned to dust
Mephistopheles found Gabriel to tell
“Good to see you finally in Hell.”
© Brett Holden
Friday, April 17, 2009
Portrait of a Girl Raped at a Suburban Party (look it up)
http://www.facebook.com/people/Brett-Holden/1776780125
yeah, that's right...a facebook.
Film School (this is 4 right?)
Doubt - 3.5/4 - Philip Seymour Hoffman plays a Catholic School leader with a troubled past that is accused by a nun (Meryl Streep) of having innappropriate contact with a Negro student. Philip (my favorite actor of all time) plays his Oscar nomination amazingly. I'll admit, even Meryl Streep was a force to be reckoned with. And Amy Adams...it was tantazlizing to think she had taken sacred vows. Did I mention practically the whole cast was nominated for a bleedin' Oscar?! This is one play put on film that works wonderfully (it is funny that the movie's ending really shows that the screenplay was based on the original play....it's the last few lines which are choked out by one of the cast members.) Go watch it!
yeah, that's right...a facebook.
Film School (this is 4 right?)
Doubt - 3.5/4 - Philip Seymour Hoffman plays a Catholic School leader with a troubled past that is accused by a nun (Meryl Streep) of having innappropriate contact with a Negro student. Philip (my favorite actor of all time) plays his Oscar nomination amazingly. I'll admit, even Meryl Streep was a force to be reckoned with. And Amy Adams...it was tantazlizing to think she had taken sacred vows. Did I mention practically the whole cast was nominated for a bleedin' Oscar?! This is one play put on film that works wonderfully (it is funny that the movie's ending really shows that the screenplay was based on the original play....it's the last few lines which are choked out by one of the cast members.) Go watch it!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
'It is better to reign in Hell, than Serve in Heaven' - John Milton, Paradise Lost
Listening To Right Now - Anberlin - Never Take Friendship Personal
Film School #3
Splinter - 2.5/4 - A horror film where the gore and acting far outweigh the direction. Despite the fact it feels that the movie was edited by someone from the Sci-Fi channel there is a good deal of great terror acting going on. Two young lovers decide to go on a camping trip until they're kidnapped by an outlaw and his girlfriend. The four get trapped in a gas station with a seriously freaky creature (which never gets fully explained but that's okay here) that is bent on turning them into walking corpses (not really zombie style however). Minus .5 because of the directing.
Hamlet 2 - 2/4 - The potential for a great comedy film that falls flat on its face. Steve Coogan portrays a theatre teacher that is faced with the prospect of losing the Drama Department. So he writes his own play 'Hamlet 2' in which all the characters from the original Hamlet are saved with help from a time machine and Jesus. Steve Coogan obviously has the ability to be a great comedic actor and the lines he was given which are actually funny her delivers perfectly. Unfortunatly, I can count the times I've laughed on one hand (that's bad since I laugh at really stupid things). The movie tried to go with the shock element of racial slurs and injecting some religous blasphemy (not my term) into the script. If the film makers had concentrated on that aspect than they may have been able to produce a funny albeit controversial film.
Next film school: Doubt
Film School #3
Splinter - 2.5/4 - A horror film where the gore and acting far outweigh the direction. Despite the fact it feels that the movie was edited by someone from the Sci-Fi channel there is a good deal of great terror acting going on. Two young lovers decide to go on a camping trip until they're kidnapped by an outlaw and his girlfriend. The four get trapped in a gas station with a seriously freaky creature (which never gets fully explained but that's okay here) that is bent on turning them into walking corpses (not really zombie style however). Minus .5 because of the directing.
Hamlet 2 - 2/4 - The potential for a great comedy film that falls flat on its face. Steve Coogan portrays a theatre teacher that is faced with the prospect of losing the Drama Department. So he writes his own play 'Hamlet 2' in which all the characters from the original Hamlet are saved with help from a time machine and Jesus. Steve Coogan obviously has the ability to be a great comedic actor and the lines he was given which are actually funny her delivers perfectly. Unfortunatly, I can count the times I've laughed on one hand (that's bad since I laugh at really stupid things). The movie tried to go with the shock element of racial slurs and injecting some religous blasphemy (not my term) into the script. If the film makers had concentrated on that aspect than they may have been able to produce a funny albeit controversial film.
Next film school: Doubt
Monday, April 13, 2009
Music Player #1; Film School #2
Music Player: (what I'm listening to right now/not really RIGHT NOW/but you get the idea)
Iron Maiden - Powerslave
Film School #2
I. Happy-Go-Lucky - 3/4 - British film starring Sally Hawkins portraying a seriously happy-go-lucky (that was obvious) 30-year old Kindergarten teacher. Along the way she manages to unhinge a driving instructor, bring some comfort to a ho-bo, and learn to Flamenco. A very funny, unique film.
II. Margot At The Wedding - 2.5/4 - A quirky film by the maker of the amazing 'The Squid & The Whale'. Like that one, it is highly unusual but in a good way. Nicole Kidman is a writer that comes to visit her estranged sister as she prepares to marry....Jack Black. Yes, he is funny as hell. The sexual themes throughout are very interesting and something to pay attention too (topics such as masturbation and pedophilia are brought up) but the overall effect of the film, especially with the possibly abrupt ending...leaves you wanting a little more explained. The strange thing about this movie is that some will really like it and others will find it....well I don't know how they'll find it but it won't be in a positive light. Truly, this is a film you have to see and decide for yourself.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Film School #1
this post will be the first in a series entitled 'Film School'. Instead of longer film reviews it will just be the title, rating, and a brief comment. So this is merely recommendations or 'stay aways!'.
I. Let The Right One In - 4/4 - A superb, brilliant, dazzling vampire film. Easily the greatest modern blood-sucking movie ever. It is not a mindless, gory thriller but a tantilizing, oddly romantic, love story between a 12 year old boy and a more-or-less 12 year old vampire girl. I haven't even seen Twilight yet I already now it is blown out of the water.
II. Rachel Getting Married -3.5/4 - Overall, this movie moved me to tears so often by the performance of Anne Hathaway that is almost embarrasing to mention it...even if it wasn't for the fact that her role as a struggling addict amidst the event of her sister's marriage was enchanting. Break out the tissues and prepare to say 'I can't believe she was in Princess Diaries'.
III. Forgetting Sarah Marshall - 3/4 What! A funny Judd Apatow movie...that's never happened. Peter Segal plays an oddball TV show composer that can't get over his beautiful actress girlfriend who runs away with a terrible British singer. Once again, Apatow and Co have pulled off a dirty movie that has enough heart that completly bashing it for its crudity would seem...well...heartless. (oh yeah, Mila Kunis plays as a hotel receptionist...she isn't even annoying)
IV. Frozen River - 3.5/4 - To be honest, I have no clue about the names of any of the cast. So the synopsis...an aged abandoned mother turns to smuggling illegal aliens into Canada to support her family. An important independent film in 2008, the strong performances by all involved makes this a film worth seeing.
V. Zack & Miri Make A Porno - 3/4 - A funny Kevin Smith movie! yay! A heartwarming (yeah, that's right) tale of two High School friends living together years later that turn to porn to make ends meet. Seth Rogen & Elizabeth Banks star together...and they're are so cute, and cuddly...uh i didn't say that. This movie is hilarious. Don't shy away from the title. Of course this movie is completly dirty and many throw their hands up and ask 'Since when do we need pervasive language and sex to make a good movie?'. I ask 'Since when do we need torture, violence, and patriotic sensationalism to make a good movie?' or something like that
films to avoid: Beverly Hill Chihuaha (however you spell it!)
I. Let The Right One In - 4/4 - A superb, brilliant, dazzling vampire film. Easily the greatest modern blood-sucking movie ever. It is not a mindless, gory thriller but a tantilizing, oddly romantic, love story between a 12 year old boy and a more-or-less 12 year old vampire girl. I haven't even seen Twilight yet I already now it is blown out of the water.
II. Rachel Getting Married -3.5/4 - Overall, this movie moved me to tears so often by the performance of Anne Hathaway that is almost embarrasing to mention it...even if it wasn't for the fact that her role as a struggling addict amidst the event of her sister's marriage was enchanting. Break out the tissues and prepare to say 'I can't believe she was in Princess Diaries'.
III. Forgetting Sarah Marshall - 3/4 What! A funny Judd Apatow movie...that's never happened. Peter Segal plays an oddball TV show composer that can't get over his beautiful actress girlfriend who runs away with a terrible British singer. Once again, Apatow and Co have pulled off a dirty movie that has enough heart that completly bashing it for its crudity would seem...well...heartless. (oh yeah, Mila Kunis plays as a hotel receptionist...she isn't even annoying)
IV. Frozen River - 3.5/4 - To be honest, I have no clue about the names of any of the cast. So the synopsis...an aged abandoned mother turns to smuggling illegal aliens into Canada to support her family. An important independent film in 2008, the strong performances by all involved makes this a film worth seeing.
V. Zack & Miri Make A Porno - 3/4 - A funny Kevin Smith movie! yay! A heartwarming (yeah, that's right) tale of two High School friends living together years later that turn to porn to make ends meet. Seth Rogen & Elizabeth Banks star together...and they're are so cute, and cuddly...uh i didn't say that. This movie is hilarious. Don't shy away from the title. Of course this movie is completly dirty and many throw their hands up and ask 'Since when do we need pervasive language and sex to make a good movie?'. I ask 'Since when do we need torture, violence, and patriotic sensationalism to make a good movie?' or something like that
films to avoid: Beverly Hill Chihuaha (however you spell it!)
Thursday, April 9, 2009
10 Hottest Actresses (I'm Serious)
10. Rachel McAdams
9. Zooey Deschanel
8. Jennifer Connolley
7. Emily Browning
6. Amy Adams
5. Mary Elizabeth Winstead
4. Danielle Harris
3. Elisha Cuthbert
2. Liv Tyler
1. Kate Beckinsale
AND THERE you have it, my list of the top ten hottest modern actresses. I know...I know...sorry about making every girl reading this insecure and every guy hopelessly horny, but alas...here are some of the films this ladies star in which you may want to check out.
Films
Rachel McAdams - Wedding Crashers, The Notebook, Red Eye
Zooey Deschanel - The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Elf
Jennifer Connolly - Labyrinth, Requiem for a Dream, Blood Diamond
Emily Browning - A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Uninvited, Darkness Falls
Amy Adams - Sunshine Cleaning, Doubt, Talladega Nights (uh...don't really recommend this one if you have managed not to see it yet but Doubt has Philip Seymour Hoffman in it!)
Mary Elizabeth Winstead - Final Destination 3, Death Proof, Live Free or Die Hard
Danielle Harris - Halloween 4 & 5, Free Willy, Halloween (2007)
Elisha Cuthbert - The Girl Next Door, Captivity, He Was a Quiet Man
Liv Tyler - Stealing Beauty, Lord of the Rings, The Strangers
Kate Beckinsale - Vacancy, Underworld, The Aviator
Mary Elizabeth Winstead gets the award for being the coolest actress for being in a Quentin Tarantino movie, but Kate and Liv come in pretty close for playing woman that can easily kill you.
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